It’s fascinating to reflect on the concept of action and reaction. Einstein once pointed out that every action has consequences, and I’ve noticed how we, as humans, often miss the crucial point. When something goes wrong, we tend to focus on the consequences rather than on the original action that set the chain of events in motion. In doing so, we rarely draw the right conclusions, and instead of changing the actions that led to negative outcomes, we scramble to alter or fix the consequences.
A perfect example of this can be seen wherever "blame" takes place. Take a workplace scenario: there’s a missed deadline, and immediately fingers start pointing. One person might blame another for not delivering their part on time, while someone else might point to external factors, like a client’s last-minute changes. Rarely does anyone stop to think about how their own actions might have contributed to the problem. Maybe I didn’t communicate clearly, or perhaps I overlooked a potential issue that I could have resolved earlier. It’s always easier to shift responsibility outward, but the truth is, no problem exists in isolation. It's part of a larger sequence of actions and reactions, where I often play a role as the originator.
I think back to a time in my own life when I found myself struggling in a relationship. There were frequent misunderstandings, which led to escalating arguments. Initially, I blamed the other person for not listening or for being unreasonable. Yet, as time passed, I began to notice a pattern: I was often the one starting the arguments. My insecurities or frustrations with myself were fuelling the conflicts, but instead of acknowledging that, I directed my energy toward trying to fix the relationship through external means. I focused on changing the reaction, whether through improving communication or seeking compromise, when the real issue was with my own actions. It took time to recognize that the change had to come from within me first—how I responded to my emotions, how I expressed myself, and how I interacted with the other person.
That kind of self-reflection is hard. We don't like to admit that our actions might be the root cause of our problems. It’s far easier to blame external factors or others around us. In fact, it’s almost ingrained in us to do so. As I’ve observed, society rarely encourages us to take responsibility for our own actions. Instead, we are pressured to avoid mistakes at all costs, which is unrealistic because mistakes are an inevitable part of being human. Society holds up this impossible standard of what it means to be a “perfect” person. We're supposed to be flawless workers, loving partners, diligent parents, and model citizens. But in striving for perfection, we often end up ignoring our own uniqueness and fallibility, leading us further away from honest self-assessment.
Looking back, I can see how indoctrination from childhood plays a big role in this. Growing up, I was taught to strive for success, to aim for perfection in everything I did. There was little room for error, and making a mistake felt like failure. Over time, I began to internalize the belief that I couldn’t afford to admit when I was wrong or had made an error in judgment. But the reality is, perfection doesn’t exist, and those societal standards of success are arbitrary at best. As a result, being honest with myself and admitting when I’ve made a mistake has always been difficult. It’s uncomfortable to say, “Yes, this is my fault,” and even more challenging to ensure that I don’t repeat the same actions in the future.
Take another example: health and fitness. There was a time when I was struggling with my health, and I kept blaming the food industry, my busy schedule, and even genetics. But the truth was, I wasn’t taking proper care of myself. I wasn’t being mindful of what I ate or how little I exercised. I was reacting to the negative consequences of poor health by looking for external solutions—new diets, supplements, or excuses—when I should have focused on the original action: my own habits. When I finally shifted my focus and took responsibility, I could see where change needed to happen. It wasn’t easy, but it was the only way forward.
In the end, I’ve come to realize that action is far more important than reaction. If I can be more aware of the actions I take in the first place, I won’t need to spend as much time trying to fix the consequences. It’s about learning to be honest with myself, recognizing where I went wrong, and making a conscious effort to change those actions before they snowball into problems. The truth is, that’s much harder to do than it sounds, but it’s essential for growth. Blame and avoidance won’t get me anywhere. Real change only happens when I look at myself as the originator.
By focusing on action rather than reaction, I’ve learned to take more responsibility for the consequences in my life, and that has been the key to real, lasting change.
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