All Blog Articles, arranged here by Year and Month.

Blame! Blame! Blame! It's definitely not MY fault!

So, it's absolutely clear: it's not my fault, so it must be somebody else's fault! They should do something about it! 

I find it fascinating and disturbing how the whole world seems to point the finger at anyone and everything else for all and any problems, but almost never is finger pointed at oneself. Why is that?

In what way does blaming help? Well, it doesn't solve any problems, so that can't be the reason. Is it because we have a problem accepting responsibility? Or perhaps because we feel powerless in a situation? Perhaps because we feel guilty when we know that we've screwed up? Is it when we have unpleasant feelings and look for an external cause as the source of our feelings? When our situation seems bad to us, do we look for the external cause(s) of that situation? 

The range of the ubiquitous "them" to which we assign blame appears almost endless and includes our partners, our children, our parents, our teachers, our representatives, our bosses, our leaders, the weather, the location, etc. etc. And what changes thanks to that blame? Not much externally, but internally?

To me, it's the most toxic and counterproductive act any of us can make. Depending on the level we are looking at, the consequences are huge. Look at all the wars where, as Dylan puts it, the killing takes place with God on our side. God our side means we are in the right and therefore justified in anything and everything we then do to others.

There is a need to be right, apparently, even if we are wrong. And to that end, we justify almost every brutal act humans can perform. It shows itself most obviously in the media, where nationalists blame anybody who was born elsewhere or has a different colour for all the woes that beset a country. We blame our politicians for not sorting out our personal problems with their rules and regulations. We blame men for all the problems that women face, we blame women for all the problems men see. Whatever happens, it's somebody else's fault I recall telling a male human rights lawyer that I thought what he did was fantastic, but that the minority he forgets to help, are the most oppressed group of all: women! 

Blame means avoiding responsibility. There is a difference in looking at a situation and saying: ok, this is the situation, how do we resolve it? And looking at the same situation and saying: ok, who's fault is it? The first sees a problem looking for a solution, the second focusses on assigning the problem to a guilty person. 

So, if I screw up, do I look for an escape and blame someone or do I take responsibility and look for a solution, which may also include my acceptance that the screw up is down to me, as much as the solution.

I recall coming home one afternoon and my stepson aged about 12, was standing next to a pot with dried reeds. He had a lighter in his hand and the reeds were burning and shooting sparks all over the living room. He's immediate reaction to our arrival was. "it's not my fault!" The blatancy of that statement just made us laugh. The situation could easily have escalated if we hadn't arrived, so no real harm done, but it demonstrates our wish not to take personal responsibility. In fact it's the reason why politicians exist: they are the ones who claim to be the problem solvers and we gladly hand over personal responsibility to them. It means we are not to blame.

The reality however unpleasant, is that we have to take personal responsibility. It's the only way we can solve our personal problems. Of course that opens another can of worms: how do we distinguish between our real problems and our imagined problems?

Being hungry and having nothing to eat is a real personal problem; being hungry and able to choose what we will eat is not a problem. Having a leaky roof over your head is a personal problem; wondering where to go on holiday is not a problem. Having to sell your body to stay alive is a personal problem; wondering which prostitute to choose is not a problem. I'm sure you can make your own list.

In my experience, taking personal responsibility for my life and my actions has, in fact, brought me a great deal of freedom and clarity. It enables me to distinguish between real problems and imagined problems. It empowers me to live my life as a human being together with others. 

I get very incensed by the ridiculous games that get played by politicians everywhere, but I have to recognise that they were voted in by a majority of the voters, who believe them when thy say that they can solve your problems. They can't and never have.  I saw some graffiti on a part of the wall around Windsor Castle in the late 60's and it read:"Whoever you vote for, the Politicians get in". It's stuck with me.

So, I have to take responsibility for myself and give up blaming others - it's the only way to get anything done!

To vaccinate or not? That is the question asked today!

What a debate! And why? I don't understand the resistance to being vaccinated against an obnoxious and deadly illness. For me, my health is important and I do my best to look after my body - it's all that keeps me alive!!!

 There's a vote here in Switzerland due in November regarding the competence of the Government to impose restrictions to stop the spread of the COVID virus among its population. The argument against, as I understand from the posters and flyers, is that it restricts the freedom of the citizens.

Freedom from what? Freedom to ensure that each citizen can, if they get the disease, pass it on to all and sundry without restriction? That, is the effect, although it isn't formulated that way. The results of this kind of policy can be seen in Brazil, the USA, and other countries that deny that the virus is dangerous. In countries which are lifting restrictions, the virus is spreading like crazy - see the numbers rise in e.g. the UK, Holland, etc.

Is that really what they want to do? I keep wondering why the Governor of Texas hasn't been indicted for mass murder, as he is wilfully creating laws and regulations against any and all measures designed to dampen the spread - he has banned mask wearing and the demand that companies can insist on having staff which are all vaccinated. What is going on? To me, given the kind of responsibility he has for the safety of his electorate, this is a clear case of a crime against humanity. 

As a human being, I have a responsibility towards my fellow beings on the planet. To use a famous quote from the book that so many - such as the Governor of Texas - claim contains the right way to live:

Wikipedia: What does the Bible say about Do unto others?

A command based on words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount: “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” The Mosaic law contains a parallel commandment: “Whatever is hurtful to you, do not do to any other person.”

I want people to treat me as an equal, as a fellow human being, with the same need for good health, happiness, love and joy. I need these things more than I need money or approval, Far more. 

So if these measures, including vaccination help me protect myself and others, then it's a no-brainer: you get vaccinated, to keep distance wherever possible and wear masks when in the company of many other people. Is that a hardship? Not at all - it's common sense.

Apparently common sense isn't as common as it ought to be,  The world constantly changes, and each one of us with it. You are not the same as you were last year or ten years ago, etc. This is a new change that's come our way. As Darwin might have said: "adapt or die!". The illusion that everything will go back to how it was is absurd. It never has and never will. As I'm in my 70's now, I can look back over huge changes, from the poverty of the post-war years to the present where there is so much surplus; from the technology of the Morris 1000 to the iX BMW; from the shared telephone line to instant communication around the world; from the Sinclair ZX81 to the fantastically powerful computers of today; from the early packet services to the internet today; from "The Brick" mobile phone to todays super computer and networking tools in our pockets. Huge changes on every level. So what is the big deal now!

So here are three arguments to support measures to keep each one of us safe:

1. I love being alive and I don't want to choke to death
2. The Bible says it: do unto others as you would have done to you - make me feel happy and I'll do my best to make you feel happy
3. Change happens all the time, many big, many small - depends on what you're issue is: Big in the World of Corona; Big like in Afghanistan; Big like in Brazil; Big like in Switzerland; Big as in my Canton and Big as in my village. Or even Big in the building I live in; worst - Big in my apartment! The stuff at the end only bothers a few people and the bigger effect the issue has, the more are directly and indirectly affected. That's all obvious too. And if you are a person with power and get out of bed on the wrong side, that can have a huge impact: Impact is relative, what's huge for me, may be trivial to you and vice versa and there is only one way out: Listen to your heart first, not your head.

Given what I've written above, I can only repeat; what is going on? Have these people no understanding of the most basic needs of each human being? Have they forgotten that they are human beings too? I sometimes think it's true that many have not developed into human beings but have only got as far as being an asshole. But then again, I am even more often reminded of how much kindness there is in the world - far more than there is hate. It's shown in the many little things; a friendly smile, a helping hand, a kind word - so much is done by so many. Look at all the people doing voluntary work in schools and clubs and charities and in the neighbourhood. These are the real human traits showing through. We need to focus more on those traits we all have, especially within ourselves.