The illusion that men are better than woman is almost as old as mankind, it seems. It's basis is the power of muscle: "I (man) can beat the hell out of you (woman), so I must be superior". Clearly, the weaker sex.
A more pathetic illusion is hardly imaginable. If it wasn't for the strength of women, there would be no species. So why can't men accept woman as equals?
There seems to be an ingrained habit which all education support - apparently almost world-wide - which leads us to constantly compare ourselves with others. The result is always
- I'm better than you
- I'm not so good as you
- I'm better than you at ....
- I'm not as god as you at .....
So where's the illusion? The same place as so many illusions are: in forgetting that each individual is unique, so comparisons need to be made very carefully. But they aren't.
The first group above (better/worse) is a statement which has the dreadful always/never axis in mind, so that "I'm better than you" is taken as meaning "I'm a better human being than you on all levels" (or, of course, "I'm not as good a human being as you on all levels"). Which, given an individual's uniqueness, makes no sense at all.
I am the only human being like me, not just now, but in all of the past and in all of the future. I am unique. All I can do, is try to be the best me I possibly can.
The second group of comparisons, looks at specific facets and as such is reasonable: I'm a better cook than you or I'm not as good a cook as you, seems reasonable and allows us to develop our own skill set which is unique to the individual. But that is also misused, because it is often misused in the form: I'm better than you at ....., therefore I'm a better human being than you.
Pathetic! But propagated everywhere you look. What kind of educational systems do we have were that is the basis, instead of acknowledging and celebrating the uniqueness of each individual?
Years ago someone I know (a white person) was dating a black Harvard lawyer who was actively supporting many prominent individuals against the disgusting discrimination these individuals experienced because of their skin colour. When I met him, I found that his behaviour towards this female white friend of mine, was definitely sexist and discriminatory in a covert manner. I reminded him, that although I found the work he did laudable, that the group who was most discriminated against, was women.
Everybody, it seems, has to be better than someone. So women are "predestined" to be the lowest of the low, because a man can always beat a woman into submission.
How sad a world. How sad an illusion.
Time for men to grow up and realise, that all human beings are equal. If there is a God of Love then that's how it has to be. Without each other, nothing will work.
Men are the stupid idiots who fight. Woman are the nurturing part which picks up the pieces which fighting leaves behind. There is a lot of mileage in just this one sentence, which I'm sure I'll be coming back to at some point in my writing.
Of course I was brought up and educated in this way as well. I'm not a saint and there is a lot of my past behaviour that I deeply regret. But I want to emphasise that it is possible to change and that it is necessary to change if we want to achieve any kind of reality. What it takes is understanding that each of us is a "createe" not a creator and that makes us all equal, not better or worse.
"Why Women Are Blamed For Everything: Exploring Victim Blaming Of Women Subjected to Violence and Trauma"
By Dr Jessica Taylor
She asked for it. She was flirting. She was drinking. She was wearing a revealing dress. She was too confident. She walked home alone. She stayed in that relationship. She was naive. She didn’t report soon enough. She didn’t fight back. She wanted it. She lied about it. She comes from a bad area. She was vulnerable. She should have known. She should have seen it coming. She should have protected herself.
Victim blaming of women is prevalent and normalised in society.
What causes us to blame women who have been abused, raped, trafficked, assaulted or harassed by men? Why are we uncomfortable with placing all of the blame on perpetrators for their crimes against women?
Based on three years of doctoral research and ten years of practice with women and girls, Dr Jessica Taylor explores the many reasons we blame women for male violence committed against them. Written in her unique style and backed up by decades of evidence, this book exposes the powerful forces in society and individual psychology which compel us to blame women subjected to male violence.