The question of being comfortable with oneself is something many of us wrestle with at some point. For me, the answer depends on a deeper inquiry: Do I know who I am? And, in truth, it's not as easy as it seems to reach that answer. Society tends to chase us from one role to another—husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, employee, employer, friend, and so on. It’s a relentless cycle of playing parts, each one demanding its own set of expectations and behaviours. The constant pressure of these roles often makes it difficult to simply be me, to figure out who I am beneath all those layers.
Amid all this, how do I even begin to find out who I am? And do I have the time to indulge in that kind of deep search? Life, as it is, is full of commitments. I’ve got places to go, people to see, responsibilities to fulfil. My to-do list doesn’t leave much room for self-reflection. On some days, I barely have time to sleep, much less contemplate who I am at the core of it all.
Or do I?
As with most things in life, it comes down to priorities. What is most important to me right now? What needs my attention at this moment? The truth is, when I choose to prioritize self-understanding, I realize that I actually *do* have time for that search. More importantly, I find that everything else I have to do—my responsibilities, relationships, and commitments—falls into place when I am clear about who I am. Life becomes simpler, and the sense of being “chased” begins to ease.
In fact, I do things better when I have clarity about who I am. When I stop trying to fit into all the prescribed roles and instead just be myself, everything flows more naturally. It’s a lesson that takes time to learn, but it’s worth it. I’ve found that when I make an effort to remain conscious of my own being, life becomes more manageable, even amidst all the complexity. That realization brings a huge sense of relief and, over time, a growing sense of comfort within myself.
Looking back on my life, I’ve gone through a lot of changes, both externally and internally. I’ve moved at least 60 times, worked countless jobs, and encountered more people and situations than I can count. For a long time, I thought that sense of rootlessness was something negative, a sign that I wasn’t grounded in who I was. But recently, I’ve come to a different understanding. The saying “home is where I hang my hat” has become a reality for me. I realize that, in all these shifts and changes, I have, in fact, been finding my own sense of home—within myself.
In many ways, I suppose I have become more comfortable with myself. It’s not to say that the journey is over or that I’ve fully arrived at some ultimate destination of self-understanding. There’s still a long way to go. But the important thing is that I feel encouraged to keep making the effort. The more I focus on being conscious—of who I am and what I am doing—the more life opens up to me. The more I realize that I can be who I am and still fulfil all my commitments. It doesn’t have to be a constant chase from one role to the next.
When I prioritize knowing myself, I begin to live life on my own terms. I am able to see more clearly what truly matters, and I can let go of what doesn’t. It’s a process, and it takes time, but the benefits are immense. Clarity, peace, and comfort within myself—these are the rewards of consciously choosing to be myself, no matter where I am or what I am doing. And for me, that makes all the difference.
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